tomoatmeal:

A DETECTIVE STORY!

After the corpse had been removed, the other detectives and I continued to poke around the crime scene, taking note of anything out of the ordinary.

“Look here.  The mirror has been removed from the wall,” said one of the detectives.  “Something like this suggests that perhaps the murderer has issues with his physical appearance.”

“Yeah,” said the other detective.  “Maybe he’s disfigured or something.”

I decided to chime in.  “Or maybe he was eating a whole container of Cool-whip with his hands because he gets so lonely and he knew that catching a glimpse of that type of grotesque vulnerability in the mirror would make him feel worse.”

The other detectives stared at me.

“Actually I think you guys are right.  I’ll bet he’s disfigured.”